I'm posting this so soon after my last post because I think it has a lot to do with that one (so if you haven't read it.. do that first) and it's what has been going on in my life. I want to be the type of person who lives with integrity. I'm not talking about a missionary who does everything right all the time, but someone who won't compromise beliefs even when no one is watching. I meet a lot of two-faced people. Sometimes even I put on a face to please others around me. I don't want to be like that. I think you find out your true character when there is no one around to impress.
I've been reading over chapters in the Bible like 1 Thessalonians 5, and all of Ephesians and they talk about us being alive in Christ and living in the light. I like that. That's why it's tattooed on my arm. I live in Christ, and I know he is sanctifying me, and teaching me to grow in him and trust him more every day. I know that I make mistakes. Every day is a battle! When I do have bad days, I am always reminded to put my trust in him all day, every day even when it's not easy. Then I remember that he conquered all that I go through and will go through and it gives me strength to continue to live for him.
This past Sunday my pastor talked about Peter. Specifically, he talked about Peter denying Christ three times after he had told Christ that he would never deny him. Imagine how bad Peter felt when Christ looked up at him and Peter realized what he had done. Peter was trying to please people. He was afraid of what the people would think about him if they knew he was one of the apostles. I think our greatest failures in life are when we let down the people we love most. Peter let Jesus down, and I think it would've been really easy for Peter to give up hope because he made such a huge mistake. But Peter learned through his mistake. Jesus later gave him three chances to express his love for him (John 21: 15 - 17) and Peter was a changed man. Peter wasn't invincible like he thought he was. But he knew he wanted to serve the Lord, and he started to try pleasing the Lord instead of those around him. Eventually, he was bold enough to stand in front of the people who crucified Jesus and tell them they crucified the Lord and that they needed to repent.
I respect Peter more because of this. I think I'm a little like Peter. I'm loud and obnoxious (much to the dismay of my dad), and I put my foot in my mouth all the time. I like attention and I make mistakes. It's amazing to know that I have a God who tests me, who knows that I'm going to fail and still loves me unconditionally even when I let him down. I think in the midst of big tests and failures we come to know who we really are in God's eyes. Peter wasn't as cocky the second time around. When the Lord was asking Peter if he loved him Peter was hurt and I'm sure he thought about that time He let Jesus down, but he humbly said, "Lord, you know all things." And then the Lord said, "Feed my sheep." I think it's amazing the Lord told him that even after he had made such a big mistake. Peter's failure didn't disqualify him from spreading the gospel. It qualified him in a new way.
So, in conclusion, my living with integrity needs to come from a desire to please the Lord. I can try to please my best friends or my pastor, but even then I will get burned out. It's easy to quit when we do what we do to be noticed. Nothing can replace my relationship with Jesus, and nothing should bring me more joy than honoring him with what he's given me. And that's something I need to remind myself daily. If I'm pleasing God with my actions, it's easy to be a leader with integrity no matter what I've done in the past.
Comments (1)
its ok Evan. We are ALL like Peter.
Amen to this post brother, I've been goin through a lot of the same things recently, where I've stopped trying to please people and am now trying to please God with what I do. And I'm comforted in knowing that it doesn't matter at all what people think of me, because I'm saved, and I know where my place is, and my hope and joy for that day is much much greater then any approval man can give.
Can't wait to see you!!!